the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
