I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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