just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize