YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
