white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Randomize
