My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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