no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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