Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
