He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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