Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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