If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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