Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
