Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
