Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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