Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
