Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
