I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
