Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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