return my video game
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
