Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
