already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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