phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
