i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
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Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He has the fingertips of a God
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