OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
