I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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