Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out