god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
PANTIES FOUND
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