Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
