and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
