i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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