Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
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I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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