Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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