Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
