where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
