New low: just hacked my moms facebook
she smelled like a LAN party
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
