i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
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You took a bar mat shot.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize