I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He? As in you personified your dick?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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