I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
