We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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