i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm like, not good at living.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
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