Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize