the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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