their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
