he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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