I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
