LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize