then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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