you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
nutella sex= disaster
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
