that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
