you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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