I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
