Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
