What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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