I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
