WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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