We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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