I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
