i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
