How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize