dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.