At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
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let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
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New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude, where are you?
... whose car?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.