All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
