tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
